Words Of Wisdom About Life Funny – Read this complete collection of funny and inspirational quotes and sayings to help you find humor in everyday moments.
Humor is a huge part of life and these quotes will help you share that humor with those around you.
Words Of Wisdom About Life Funny
Ideally, they will help you laugh at the pain, laugh at the struggle, and laugh at the elephants in the room.
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If you like this collection of quotes, read our most popular quotes article on Short Inspirational Quotes for Daily Motivation.
1. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize that I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
3. I find TV very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go into the other room and read a book.” — Groucho Marx
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If you enjoy these quotes, be sure to check out our collection of book quotes about the power of reading from your favorite authors.
4. “All you need in this life is ignorance and self-belief, and then success is certain.” – Mark Twain
5. “If you don’t know where you’re going, you might end up somewhere else.” – Yogi Bera
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6. “No child was so beautiful, but his mother was happy in her sleep.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
7. “It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because I was very popular at the time.” – Robert Benchley
10. “Don’t worry about the apocalypse today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles Schulz
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And if you need some motivation to stay on track, be sure to check out our collection of uplifting quotes.
13. “Whenever I hear someone sigh, life is hard, I’m always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’ – Sydney Harris
14. “The elevator to success is broken. You’ll have to use the stairs…one step at a time.” – Joe Gerrard
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15. “The brain is an amazing organ. Work begins the moment you wake up in the morning and doesn’t end until you get to the office.” — Robert Frost
16. “We don’t stop playing because we get old; we get old because we stop playing.” – George Bernard Shaw
17. “The best way to make yourself happy is to try to make someone else happy.” – Mark Twain
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If you like these quotes, be sure to check out our collection of age quotes for the young and young at heart.
19. “The moment you pay less than you cost, you get even less than you bargained for.” – Maureen Dodd
20. “It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did things wrong.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Funny Words Of Wisdom
23. “Friendship is like taking a piss: everyone can see it, but you only get the warm feeling it brings.” – Robert Bloch
If you like these quotes, you will love our collection of inspirational quotes for friends to show how much they mean to you.
24. “If you thought you were too small to be effective, you weren’t in the dark with a gnat.” – Betty Reese
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27. “When you don’t know what you’re doing and what you’re doing is the best – that’s inspiration.” – Robert Bryson
28. “My therapist told me that the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&M’s and a chocolate cake. I feel really better.” – Dave Barry
30. I failed the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” – Benjamin Franklin
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32. “Most people miss an opportunity because they wear business clothes and look like work.” – Thomas Edison
33. “You can’t wait for inspiration. Then you have to go with the club.” – Jack London
34. “You have a brain in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can go in any direction you choose. You are on your own. And you know what you know. And you are the one who decides where to go.” – Dr. Seuss
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35. “There’s no secret about success. Have you ever met a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” – Ken Hubbard
37. “Life is like a sewer – what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” – Tom Lerer
40. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Neither does showering, so we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
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41. “If you looked at something and laughed at it, you might laugh at it now.” – Marie Osmond
42. I have a simple philosophy: fill in the blank. Empty what is full. Scratch where it itches.” – Alice Roosevelt Longworth
43. “Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. After a few years, it can boast a long streak of success.” – Marie von Ebner Eschenbach
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44. You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make it all yourself.” – Sam Levinson
45. “It is difficult to accept honest criticism, especially from a relative, friend, acquaintance or stranger.” – Franklin B. Jones
46. ”You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” – Woody Allen
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49. “Always keep your speech soft and tender, in case you have to eat it.” – Andy Rooney
51. “Before you marry someone, you must first make them use a computer with slow internet to find out who they really are.” – Will Ferrell
52. “I’d love to get married. It’s so wonderful to find that special someone you want to pester for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rodner
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53. “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want some advice?’ “It’s just a formality. It doesn’t matter if you answered yes or no. You’ll get it anyway.” – Erma Bombeck
54. “Don’t follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you can’t see the path. Then by all means follow this path.” – Ellen DeGeneres
56. “You know you’ve reached middle age when your doctor warns you to slow down instead of the police.” – Joan Rivers
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57. “The truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bike with a missing seat, but it hurts.” – Lieutenant. Frank Drebin
59. “The only thing that separates us from animals is our ability to accessory.” – Clairee Belcher, Steel Magnolias
If you enjoy these quotes, be sure to check out our collection of Monday motivational quotes to help you start your week.
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60. “I want my kids to have all the things I can’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller
65. “You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this warning.” – Sam Levinson
69. “Hating people is like burning down your house to get rid of mice.” Harry Emerson Fosdick
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73. “The reason I’m talking to myself is because I’m the only one who agrees with his answers.” – George Carlin
If you enjoy these quotes, be sure to read our collection of George Carlin quotes from the famous comedian.
76. “To be successful in life, you need three things: a lean bone, a backbone and a playful bone.” – Reba McIntyre
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77. “You grow up the day you laugh for the first time – at yourself.” – Ethel Barrymore
78. “The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open.” – Frank Zappa
81. “I’ve only been really angry on occasions when he touches my heart.” -Edgar Allan Poe
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82. “Think left, think well, think low, and think high. Oh, the thoughts you can think if you only try!” – Dr. Seuss
84. “If you faithfully work eight hours a day, you can eventually become a boss and work twelve hours a day.” – Robert Frost
86. “Here’s a test to see if your mission on Earth is over – if you’re alive, it’s not.” – Richard Bach
Funny Philosophical Quotes
87. “We are all here on earth to help others. What else is here on earth because I don’t know.” – WH Uden
89. “Optimist: Someone who sees that taking a step back after a step forward isn’t a disaster, it’s more of a cha-cha.” – Robert Brault
90. “Even if you’re on the right track, you’re going to get pulled over just sitting there.” – Will Rogers
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91. “It is better to be silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.” – Abraham Lincoln
92. “Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people look bright until you hear them speak.” – Alan Dundis
If you like these quotes, you will love our collection of funny dog quotes that will make you laugh with your close friends.
Funny Aging Quotes
95. “The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our intelligence to grow.” – Bertrand Russell
96. “Be who you are and say what you feel because who cares doesn’t matter and those who care don’t care.” – Bernard Baruch
97. “A sure sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never attempted to contact us.” – Bill Watterson
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98. “Money can’t buy happiness, but it can
